風~Infinity~

The auditors are here for few weeks, we have to lock all our desks and client files...etc.

J: (trying to unlock the files)

J: (pulled the box and it's locked) Did I just lock this? 

B: Yeah, cuz you didn't lock it yesterday. The auditor was just telling me about that

J: Shit! but I thought I locked it....omg....

B: You do know that it is a big deal because they have the authority to fire you on site, they can fire the branch manager if they want

J: (In Panic mode) So I'm in trouble for not locking that yesterday?

B: (Started to laugh)

J: It's not funny!

B: It is so if I unlocked the files box before you got here.

J: You what?

B: I know I'm not suppose to touch your client files, but the look on your face is worth it, so cute

J: You bi*ch......

B: Gagagagaga...

B: You ran out pretty quick there, was it a emergency?

J: No, I just had to pee, couldn't do that before I finished those trades

B: Is that why your zip is open?

J: (look down) No it's not open

B: (laughs) Made ya look. So nothing was sticking out?

J: NO!

B: I get it, so small that it can't be seen when it's wide open. You poor thing....

J: =皿=凸

B: (LOL)Awwww, he's so cute when he does that

J: 凸=皿=凸

B: (LOL)

So Brad hired a hot girl to be his new assistant, her name is Leah. 

B: Guess who I just talked to? Leah (giggle)

J: Is that why you are humping my cubical's wall?

B: (still humping)

J: Please stop harrassing my cubical =___________=

B: Then pull my fingher, quick quick quick

J: NO!


Few minutes later........

B: You do know that I was just joking, humping your wall was just to tease you

J: OH REALLY? I thought it was just something that went through your head after talking to Leah?

B: Nooooo. Why makes you think that?

J: What else were you thinking in your head?

B: Um....

J: Pervert =__________=

B: Do you know what ADIDAS really stand for?

J: Oh oh! I know this one!! 

J: it's All Day I Dream About Sex

B: You are sick

J: wha....?

B: I can't believe you dream about sex all day. most importantly, I can't believe you even tell people you do that

J: you asked me what it means!

B: Yes, but that's not the answer I was looking for (laugh)

J: That was so the answer you had in mind....

B: Whatever, I don't want to talk to a pervert

J: =口=凸

B: ahh, you bought FXP

J: yeah...I was going to set my price at 90, but market seems to be holding up

B: that means I can put in my buy order at 90 because every time you buy, the price drops like crazy

J: stop saying that!! 


20 mins later

B: guess what? I got FXP at 90! Thank you chicklet

J: awwww crap....

B: and again! big Bill got it cheaper

J: awwww crap....!


after market closed FXP went down to 89.95

B: why did you make me buy FXP? you just can't stand losing money alone and had to drag me with ya eh?

J: what the!? I didn't tell you to buy

B: see, this is exactly why you are not allowed to give advice to clients. anyway, I blame you for that

J: blah blah blah....

J: bitch FXP....
B: bitch FXP.....

B: Taiwan is just a renegade province of China

J: I've told you many times, it is not!

B: It is, look at Taiwan, always disobeying China, that's not right, you are not suppose to fight your motherland.

J: I told you so many times there are no proof saying Taiwan is part of China. It may not be a independent country, but it doesn't belong to anyone

B: I don't care, Taiwan is just like Quebec, always telling people that they want to be independent

J: I'm just gonna slap you =________=

B: Awwww, you look so cute when you say that. that's why it's fun teasing you

B: (take out a cat teaser) come here kitty kitty kitty

J: I'm really gonna kill you one day.....=_______=

B: (waving the cat teaser)

On a wok related conversation...

J: you know, i just assume that's what we usually do...

B: how many times have i told you, never assume!

J: but...

B: you don't get my point, do you?

J: huh?

B: okay....(writing down "assume" on the paper) this is why you should never assume

J: (staring)

B: because when you assume, you make an ASS out of U and ME

J:  =口=a

J: (calling bond desk to make a bond trade) Hi Allan! it's Jeff

A: hey Jeffie! what can i do for ya today?

J: regarding that Ford we did yesterday, just wondering if the price is still good?

A: um...have you not seen the news this morning?

J: no, i havne't got the time to do that yet. good news or bad news?

A: well, Ford filed a huge loss and Toyota is gonna take over some of their product lines, so the Ford bonds are all trading at par *

J: (speechless for 5 sec) say what? pa...par?

A: (laughing) i'm just kidding you man, did i get ya?

J: why is everyone doing this to me? you almost gave me a heart attack...


After the conversation I turned around and Bill was laughing very hard

J: what are you laughing at? you didn't even know what Allan said

B: no.....but i did call him 5 mins before you and told him to scare you

J: =口=..............

B: you are too easy chicklet, too easy...


*par means 100, the bond was trading at around 93-ish, it is almost impossible to have a 7 point jump in price in just one day, unless some terrible things happen

B: (fart)

J: is that what i think it is? did you just...?

B: noooo! it's the chair


Few seconds later


J: shit, it is so you!

B: (laughs) no one told you to smell it


Gary walks out


G: what's that smell?

B: it's Jeff (point)

J: you bi*ch......

1/23 7 am

J: Apple is down more than 9%, maybe we should get in

B: the share price is over 140, i can't even afford 100 shares

J: buy 50 shares, all we need is $4 rebound to breakeven

B: $4 is too risky


10 am

J: Apple is down over 18%, i think we can buy 50 shares now

B: sorry, i think it's not a good apple, don't think it's a good idea


12:00 pm

J: Apple pulled up $6 from the low today

B: why didn't you tell me to buy at the low?

J: whaaaat? i did! but you said not to buy....

B: shut up, i dont' want to hear your excuses

J: but....!

B: shut up!

B: (whisper) stupid young chicklet tryig to tell me he's right...pfffft

J: you want to go to Tim Horton's for breakfast?

B: you want to go to Tim Whore-tons because there are tons of whores?

J: Grrrr......I mean the donut place 

B: dog-nuts? you know...you chinese people really do eat everything

J: nevermind, I'll just go by myself =口=


(After I came back)

J: (eating timbits*)      *一口donut

B: holy, you like dog-nuts so much that you bought a box full of balls?

J: damn it...you just ruined my appetite....

J: Yay! I passed PFP!

B: Good for you! what's the score?

J: 69%

B: ooooh! my favorite number

J: huh?

B: you know, it's 69

J: so...?

B: you don't know 69? it's a guy and a woman upside-down...

J: I beg you to stop =_________=

B: What is the difference between a rooster and a hooker?

J: They both have two legs?

B: rooster goes "cock-a-doodle-doo"
    hooker goes "any-cock-will-doo"




以上純屬笑話，絕無任何冒犯之意

B: I had beaver for lunch on Sunday

J: what? beaver? the cute little thing that can build tiny dams?

B: (laughing hard) oh...you are so naive..

J: (google-ing "beaver for lunch)

B: are you searching for that on google? you are killing me man...(laugh harder)

J: google doesn't have it

B: (still laughing)hey Gary, the chicklet here is google-ing beaver for lunch

G: Hahahahahaha

J: what's so funny? (still trying to google it)

B: (whisper) beaver is a 70-80s term for a woman's vagina

J: awww f*ck....what the hell is wrong with you people....囧rz

(G and B were laughing very hard once again)




以上絕無任何冒犯之意

老大是4x歲中年男，但卻有一顆5歲的心
超random的思考路線，注重及時行樂，今日錢本當今日花
在金融界打滾快20載，擁有多張證照，卻只想開心的當助理
除了負責處理助理事務外還身兼當我的監察人&老師，三不五時還會整我、開我玩笑、和躲在角落嚇我
在認真訓練我同時，也一點一滴的在帶壞我

離婚兩次，因此破產兩次，所以他時常說一些有關女性的笑話
沒有小孩，但有一隻非常有個性的貓
常說自己沒什麼錢，卻有兩台車外加兩台貴到不行的重機車

半年前老大跟我說單身最好，要是戀愛的話就要有破產的覺悟
可是最近...他卻戀愛了
他說那真是好甜蜜的感覺
我說他應該要有第三次破產的覺悟

總之，他是個大孩子。

What do you call the nuts that are on the wall?


---> Walnuts


What do you call the nuts that are on a chest?


---> Chestnuts




B: ok, now, what do you call the nuts that are on your chin?

J: Chin-nuts?






















B: No! you can’t speak because you have a d*ck in your mouth!

J: Oy........

以上純屬笑話，絕無任何冒犯之意

B: what's up chicklet? 

J: not much, you?

B: mm, about 7 inches

J: ~"~a

美國股市今天終於止跌回升，Dow Jones拉回90多點，Nasdaq和SP500也都收漲。
雖然我還不夠格來評論市場動向，比爾老大今天倒是主動的問我對明後天市場的看法。
直覺上今天 是一個反彈點，畢業已經連跌三天， 現在拉回倒也不是那麼不尋常。
只是，明後天會是持續往上爬還是向下收？
我跟比爾老大說，會漲
我的理由是，Fed看起來不會調整利率，應該不至於給市場太大衝擊
再來，今天收盤指數很靠近本日高點，我覺得也許還有衝力可以做突破
不過我並沒有說會漲很多，因為製造業的訂單減少，對市場多少還是會有衝擊

老大說他認為會下跌，但是小幅度下跌
他說一般來說，連跌幾天後的暴衝不會連貫
雖然大部分的人都認為Fed不會調息，但這不代表投資人就不會不安

『不是只看報表或新聞，重要的是去猜測投資人的心理』

老大問我，七月初有什麼大日子？
這題簡單，就是美國跟加拿大的國慶日
因此下週一加拿大是休市，下週三則是美國休市
那這種時候上班族最常做的事是？
→使用他們的假，一次可連放很多天
比爾又說，夏天是他們老外最常使用休假的季節
歐洲很多人一休就是1-2個月
『如果是你，你會在你休假時天天盯盤跟操盤嗎？』
當然是不會吧 XD
還有，要知道，並不是只有投資人才會休假
像我們這種理財專員、交易員也都會休假
因為，很多人會選在這時候賣出持股
在夏末秋至時再接回
因此這幾天老大認為賣壓會增加
也由於大部份人心裡想著休假，市場不會太熱絡
所以他認為未來兩天還是收黑

接收市場資訊固然重要，但不能只看這些
投資人的心理因素也相當重要
你不止要看大盤、看經濟，還得看今天星期幾
有時你明明覺得某條新聞可以刺激市場上衝
但偏偏大部份投資人心裡想的跟你不一樣

『有時，你真的不知道他們在想什麼鬼』

B: What do all women and an airplane have in common? 

J: I don't know
 
B: cockpit 

J: huh? what does that have to do with women?

B: cock - pit. 

J: =口=a

以上純屬笑話，絕無任何冒犯之意